When it Rains, it Pours
by Red Witch
Summary: My own twisted take on what happened at the end of New XMen 138 Or what should have happened! Xavier invites a televison crew to cover the prizegiving ceremony live for some good PR. It backfires big time!


**I do not own any X-Men characters! Got it! Well I read the latest New X-Men comic (#138) and it seriously rocked! Just when things couldn't get any worse at the Institute…Then I had a very strange idea. What if there was a television crew at the prize giving ceremony? Grant Morrison forgive me but I had to write this! **

**When it Rains it Pours**

"I can't believe I got picked to do this assignment," Reporter Trish Trilby grumbled as she made sure her hair was straight. 

"Just try to forget he's here," Her cameraman told her. "Besides you're the one that had to do the whole 'Beast is Gay' Exclusive thing."

"How was I supposed to know that was going to backfire on me?" She grumbled.

"Just get ready…in five, four, three, two…" He made the motion that they were on the air.

"This is Trish Trilby reporting live from the Xavier Institute," She spoke with her usual flair of professionalism. "A few days ago the world was shattered at the events of the Opening Day Riot took place. Now the school is slowly returning to life as normal. Well as normal as it can be for mutants. But many students are still shaken at the events. Although no humans were seriously injured, the riots left at least two students dead and a third in…an unknown condition. This has saddened and shocked both students and faculty. Many are still in morning."

"Hey yo! I'm on TV!" Basilisk appeared behind her waving his hands. "Hey look at me! I'm a star! Hyuk! Yuk! Hey all of you out there in TV land! Look at this beautiful body! Hoo-ya!" He started to dance around in the background.

"Of course many students are putting on a brave face as they continue on," Trish went on as if nothing had happened. "Today at the prize giving ceremony some of Xavier's best and brightest shall be honored. I believe one of them is in the background…"

"That's me!" Basilisk came forward. "Hey Ernst! She's talking about us!" 

"Um and you are…?" Trish asked him.

"Basilisk's the name!" He said proudly. "Hey and this is my little buddy Ernst and my lady No-Girl beside her."

"I see…" Trish actually only saw two people standing there. "So you are being honored as part of the Special Class?"

"Yeah Special Class," Basilisk laughed. "Ain't that a real kick in the head? We used to be the school's rejects until the smartest kid in the class went whacko and took the other half of the smart kids with him! And to think they used to look down on us! Didn't think we were good enough to be here! Hyuk! Now we're getting the goods while those losers are doing a stretch in the pen! Ain't that the funniest damn thing you ever heard? Hey Omegas! How's the joint treating you? Whatever you do, don't drop the soap! Looooooooooooooooooooserrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrs!" He made an L shaped sign with his hand. "Hyuk!" He went off giving hi fives to other mutants. 

"Uh…yes…and you are?" Trish asked Ernst. 

"I'm Ernst and this is my friend No-Girl," The girl who looked more like and eighty-year-old woman than a child smiled sweetly. 

"No-Girl?" Trish looked around. "I…don't see her…"

"She's invisible," Ernst spoke sweetly. "I have to go. We're getting our prizes now for improvement." 

"Yeah…right," Rob the cameraman spoke to himself as she walked away. "There's a real model of stability for you." 

Soon more prizes were given out. "Boy this is a real bore," Rob muttered to Trish during a commercial break. "I've seen more excitement covering a dog show!" 

"Just be patient," Trish sighed. "It'll be over in a half hour."

"Not soon enough for me," Rob grumbled. "My specialty is filming the action, ya know? Not some glorified PR for a mutant school that's had a serious image problem in the past couple of days! What I wouldn't give for some action!" 

"Quiet," She motioned. "We're on live in a second. They want us to show the last half-hour of the awards ceremony live. And we're back now with our continuous live coverage of the Xavier Institute's Prize Giving Awards." 

Xavier was at the podium speaking. "And now this special award is for outstanding achievement in heroism and honors our potential X-Men of the future, Barnell Bohusk, AKA the Beak and Angel Salvadore." He went to present the students with their awards. 

But they weren't there.

"Lo-sers," Basilisk snickered. "Hyuk!" 

"Where the hell are those two little…" Logan grumbled. 

"Moving on…" Xavier sighed as he decided to go on with his closing speech. 

"Wonderful timing kids," Hank sighed as he and Logan stood in the back of the tent. 

"I'm gonna go find our two missing students," Logan grumbled as he left the tent. 

"Oh there's a shock," Rob muttered under his breath. "Two no shows." 

"Well two missing students," Trish spoke into the camera. "This shows you'll never know what is going to happen on live television." 

"And in conclusion," Xavier spoke. "Although we have had troubled times, the Xavier Institute will continue on its quest for peaceful co-existence with mankind. As I step down from my position as headmaster, I can only hope that the dream continues on with the new generation of teachers. Teachers who will be a beacon of morality and guidance in these troubled times."

"FREAKING HELL…JEAN THAT HURT!" The voice of Emma Frost shouted before she was thrown violently into the tent. She was in her diamond form so she wasn't hurt, but tables were broken and students scattered in fear. 

**"YOU ARE SO DEAD EMMA FROST!" **Jean flew in after her, covered in Phoenix fire. **"YOU HEAR ME! DEAD! DEAD! DEAD!" **

"Hello!" Rob the cameraman grinned. "Things are starting to look up!" 

**"HOW DARE YOU HAVE AN AFFAIR WITH MY HUSBAND?!" **Jean shouted.

"Oh crap," Hank hid his face behind his paws. "This is not good!" 

"Calm down Jean it wasn't a real affair," Emma got up on her feet. "It was only thoughts. That's all. It doesn't count."

**"IT DOES IF YOU'RE MANIPULAING THEM YOU LYING WHORE!" **Jean screamed as she launched another telekinetic assault. 

"Jean stop this right now!" Scott ran in. "I know you're angry but…"

**"ANGRY? ANGRY? SCOTT I AM BEYOND ANGRY AT THIS POINT! I AM FURIOUS!" **She screamed as a burst of Phoenix fire grew around her. 

"And you were lecturing me the other day about my behavior?" Hank snapped at Scott. "You are such an idiot!" 

"Not now Hank," Scott told him.

"Scott, she's a telepath!" Hank snapped. "You couldn't exactly keep it a secret for very long ya know?" 

"I don't know how she found out!" Scott snapped.

"Oh I can guess!" Emma glared at the remaining Stepford Cuckoos. "You wretched little traitors! After all I've done for you!" 

"Consider it a gift from Sophie," The Stepford Cuckoos glared at her. "You remember, the girl you let die for your stupid ideals? Ideals that are shallow and all but non-existent?" 

"Who the hell are you brats to judge me?" Emma snarled.

**"Right! That's my job!" **Jean growled as she tossed a few chairs at Emma telepathically. 

"Oh please you are not exactly the most moral person in the world you know," Emma growled.

**"Well compared to a backstabbing slut like you…" **

"STOP THIS AT ONCE!" Xavier shouted. 

**"Don't tell me what to do Charles! I'm Headmistress here now! Not you!" **Jean shouted.

"Smart move Charles," Hank groaned. 

"It was a good idea at the time!" Xavier defended. 

"Well you were kissing Logan in the garden not that long ago!" Emma snapped. "You were trying to have an affair with him!" 

**"But I didn't!"** Jean shouted.

"Only because he turned you down!" Emma said hotly. 

"Uh Emma…" Scott gulped as the Phoenix flame grew even more around Jean. "That was definitely not the right thing to say!" 

**"DIE!!!!!" **Jean started to attack Emma using her powers. 

"Love, lust and betrayal at the Xavier Institute!" Trish spoke. "And we're bringing it to you live!" 

"I'd like to take this moment to proclaim that now more than ever I am so glad I am gay," Hank spoke into the camera. "And Trish I have you to thank for it!" 

"What is that supposed to mean?" Trish snapped. 

"Well you made me realize it. What do you **think **it means?" He snapped. 

"If you're implying that I'm that lousy in bed…" Trish caught herself.

"I didn't say a thing girl friend," Hank huffed. 

"Hank we kind of have a situation here," Logan walked in with Beak and Angel. Then he saw the women fighting. "What in the world…"

"Jean finally caught Scott having a tryst with Emma," Hank said.

"Oh crap," Logan groaned. "Can't _anything_ go right this week?" 

"Shouldn't you people do something?" Trish asked.

"Yeah we could sell tickets," Logan snickered.

"I'm afraid dear Emma here is on her own," Hank shook his head. "Can't say I didn't warn her!" 

"You mean you knew about this affair?" Trish asked him.

"Will you back off lady?" Logan shoved her aside. "Great, now we gotta figure out how to stop Jean before or maybe after she kills Emma!" 

"Preferably before Logan," Xavier spoke as he walked up to them. 

"Maybe you do…" Logan began. 

"Well I guess the fact that I got Angel pregnant is pretty small compared to all this," Beak sighed.

"WHAT?" Xavier yelled. 

"The two new prize students of Xavier are going to be teenage parents," Trish spoke into the microphone. "Of course considering the infidelity of their teachers…"

"Hey don't blame them!" Basilisk shouted. "It ain't the teacher's fault Angel's a slut!" 

"You want your eye poked out?" Beak growled at him. 

"What else would you call a girl who's three weeks pregnant?" The Stepford Cuckoos smiled. 

"Personally I'd call her accommodating," One student shrugged. 

"Three weeks?" Beak looked at Angel. "Hold it! We only did it less than a week ago! How can you be three weeks pregnant if …." His eyes widened.

"Give the man a prize! He can add! Hy-uk!" Basilisk giggled. 

"You four girls are regular bearers of glad tidings ain't ya?" Logan glared at the Stepford Cuckoos. 

"You trained us to be honest and helpful," They grinned. 

"So who is the father?" Beak shouted. "I can't believe I fell for it! The oldest trap in the book! Who is it? Who?" 

"Well it certainly isn't me!" Hank called out. "I'm gay!" 

"HANK NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR THIS!" Scott shouted. "Jean's just blown up a wall!" 

"AHHH! MY HAIR'S ON FIRE!" Emma ran around wildly. 

"Gee you would think it wouldn't burn like that in diamond form," Beak blinked, forgetting his situation. 

"I can't take much more of this…" Xavier walked away back to the podium. 

"Hey if Miss Frost dies does that mean we all get A's in her classes?" Basilisk shouted. 

"Oh man this is great!" Rob said excitedly. "Look at those colors! Man I can smell those awards I'm gonna get for this!" 

"JEAAAAAAANNN! OWWWWW!" Scott screamed. 

"Oh great now she's going after Cyclops!" Logan grumbled. "And the lawn's on fire…again!" 

"I hate my life," Xavier banged his head on the podium. "I hate my life…." 


End file.
